KIPS Blog: Parenting Assessment in Practice & Research

Narcissism - What comes to mind when you hear this word --  self-absorption, inflated self-image, lacking empathy, feeling better than others, taking others for granted?  Is this what we hope for our children?  Not really.  These are concerning words, and not what most parents wish for their children.  Of course we understand that very young children, birth to 5 years old, are naturally ego-centric as they learn where they fit in the world.  But when children reach school age and are developing a clearer sense of themselves and others, narcissism becomes a concern as an extreme personality trait which can harm children’s development and social relationships.  When most extreme, it is diagnosed as a personality disorder that requires therapeutic treatment. 

Research suggests that narcissism is increasing.  

As Thanksgiving draws near, we will gather with family and friends to give thanks for the people, places or things that support our daily lives.  Research shows that expressing this gratitude can promote happiness.  Yet, this can be a difficult task when life is not going the way we want it to.  But if we, and those families we serve, are able to find the silver lining even on cloudy days, life will feel a little easier. 

Are you trying to help parents help children get ready for school success?  According to research from the University of Pennsylvania, traits such as self-control and grit can predict school success as well as IQ.  On September 27 the MacArthur Foundation released the names of the twenty-four 2013 recipients of its famous MacArthur Fellowships, sometimes called the Genius Grants.  These grants are given to honor and support individuals’ exceptional creativity in past work and the promise of more in the future.  Angela Duckworth at the University of Pennsylvania is among this year’s 24 creative individuals.  Her research demonstrates that character traits are equally good indicators of a child's future academic success as intelligence and standardized achievement tests.

In Paul Tough’s book, How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity and the Hidden Power of Character, Tough discusses seven character traits that Angela Duckworth and colleagues have focused on as key to children’s success:

In Paul Tough’s book, How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity and the Hidden Power of Character, Tough discusses seven character traits that Angela Duckworth and colleagues have focused on as key to children’s success:

In our last post, we described how in the book, How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity and the Hidden Power of Character, Paul Tough points to the importance of parenting in developing the character that promotes children’s success.  Tough discusses 7 character traits that Angela Duckworth and colleagues have focused on as key to children’s success:

I have just completed reading Paul Tough’s, How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and Hidden Power of Character. I highly recommend this book for anyone working with families.  One of the main themes of thebook is that personal traits, which he refers to as character, are more important than intelligence or academic skills for a person’s success.  Much of the book focuses on how to build character traits during middle and high school, because fully developing these traits requires metacognition. Though it concentrates on middle and high school, this book provides considerable food for thought for those of us focusing on the early years of child development.  With gratitude to Paul Tough, in the next few posts we explore parenting and the development of character.

Recently, I was talking with a couple of service providers taking the online Keys to Interactive Parenting Course (KIPS).  They both found learning the parenting assessment’s item on promoting exploration and curiosity particularly challenging.  This item was a late addition in the development of the parenting assessment, and the psychometrics showed that it complemented the other 11 KIPS items.  Long after KIPS was finalized, we came upon the work of Todd Kashdan at George Mason University, which further reinforced the importance of including this item in assessing parenting.  My thinking about exploration and curiosity has been deeply influenced by Kashdan’s book entitled: Curious: Discover the Missing Ingredient to a Fulfilling Life (2009, Harper Collins).  Kashdan argues that curiosity is among the most valuable of traits, because if one is curious, then one has the ability to learn and adapt.  He further states, “Children are born with boundless curiosity.” (p.7). It is our upbringing, schooling and society that constrain this birthright.  He also stresses that play provides a safe opportunity to explore.  This reinforces the use of play as the focus of the KIPS structured parent-child observation.